Xi Yuan-曦园-大学

     Getting to know the state of Xi Yuan is like having a taste of Fudan on a smaller scale due to the many different landscapes to be found here.

     Nestled in the center of Xi Yuan, the Lotus Pond, an area of breathtaking beauty made up of concrete bed, liquid water and leaves, bears a resemblance to the elegant one described by Zhu Ziqing. Here and there, layers of leaves over the water are dotted with white lotus blossom, some in full bloom, others in shy bud. Around the pond, far and near, high and low, are trees,through which stretches a winding white stone  path.  Everywhere, exclusive and elaborate planting emphasized the feeling that you are entering a new world  peaceful and secluded  learing the normal world behind.
     In the daytime, Xi Yuan is frequented by hardworking students, while birds high up on the trees serenade the clouds with their melody. At night, the branches of the trees moved in the wind.  The moonlight filtering through makes a dappled，shifting pattern. Xi Yuan looks most charming in early spring,the air chilly and damp, especially when inundated with thinmist.
     Xi Yuan is such an attractive place. You can hardly afford to miss it if you have a visit to Fudan.

简  评

    本文属于写景散文。复旦大学校园可以描写的景象不胜枚举，而本文作者没有描绘其他地方，而是选择了复旦校园一个幽僻的角落。这里绿树、池塘及小路构成了一片诗情画意，为作者提供了描述素材。
    立意明确、层次分明是本文的最大特点。文章的描写显得错落有致。作者一开始便说明曦园是复旦校园的一个缩影。然后在描述景致的时候以池塘为中心展开画笔。先写池塘中水、落叶及荷花，然后再写远近高低的树木，弯弯曲曲的小路。最后，作者又着意刻画曦园在不同季节呈现出的迷人景色。
    当然，文章还有许多不足之处。譬如，在第一段里，作者没有说明曦园在哪一方面能够代表复旦校园；对于朱自清的“荷塘月色”作者也只是一笔带过，没有说明曦园同朱自清笔下的荷塘有何相似之处。如果作者的笔触能够再细腻一些，描述能够再详细一些，文章就会增添一分闲情雅致。另外，部分句法和用词也破坏了文章整体的美感。但是，瑕不掩瑜。作为一篇习作，本文仍不失其清闲隽永。