Beauty on the Campus-大学

      It is believed in common that beauty exists everywhere on the campus as long as you have an eye for it. Some people hold that natural scenes, especially at dawn, are the most beautiful on the campus while others believe that it is in the afternoon when the playgrounds are flooded with students taking part in sports.In my opinion, the best scene on the campus is during the rush hour when thousands of students rush towards the canteen.

     At precisely the same time as the bell rings, some students dash from the chairs, rushing to the canteen. They set the prelude to the most attractive scene of the whole day.
     Within a few minutes, all the classrooms become empty and everyone starts their journey for lunch, on foot or by bike. It gives people the impression that lunch is the most important thing in the world.  Most of the students move at the same speed,with the exception of several excellent cyclists.  They shuttle smoothly in the crowds just like fish swimming freely in the sea.
     On the way to the canteen, everyone looks anxious. But once inside, a look of pride and triumph takes over. Sometimes,it bubbles up in my mind that the rush hour hustle and bustle is the epitome of the intense competition in real life. If you want to realize your expectations, you must be armed with skills and knowledge, use time and resources efficiently and the most importantly, have a healthy body.

简  评

    本文描写了校园中的一景：中午时分，学生或骑车或步行，争先恐后赶去食堂用餐的场景。值得一提的是几个动词把学生的动作描写得非常生动，如dash from the chairs，rushing to the canteen;shuttle smoothly In the crowds just like fish swimmmg freely in the sea等。除了动作，还有神态的描写：在去食堂的路上，人人面露焦虑之色，而一旦走进食堂，取而代之的是a look of pride and triumph，栩栩如生地刻画出学生当时的心情。
    由此，作者联想到激烈的竞争在生活中无所不在。要实现自己的理想，必须用技术和知识武装自己，有效地运用时间和资源，而且，最重要的是，要有一个健康的体魄。使文章的立意更为深刻。
    (点评教师：黄莺)